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BASED ON AUTHORITATIVE SOURCES /METAL STENCILS |
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Should have stayed at bus station |
: |
Piece of white bread |
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Taxi driver |
: |
Crumbs |
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Roadkill |
: |
Pale-green egg cup |
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Jogger |
: |
Litre of Vin des Rochers |
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Running late |
: |
Shell debris |
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Hit-and-run son |
: |
Grains of salt |
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Grocery grabber of death’s bounty |
: |
Jar of Nescafé |
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|
Officer Bozzio |
: |
Box of matches |
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|
Officer Love |
: |
A match |
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Street musician |
: |
Pepper-shaker |
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Walking to coffee shop |
: |
Half-litre bottle of milk |
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Espresso czar |
: |
Burnt match |
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Giant cappuccino |
: |
Box of granulated sugar |
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|
Dostoyevsky wannabe |
: |
Carton of Socosel |
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|
Looking for missing friend |
: |
Fifty- and ten-centime coins |
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|
Been on the moon since the 50’s |
: |
Package of Twining’s Chinese tea |
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|
Tura Satana look-alike |
: |
Jar of celery salt |
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|
Co-op guy |
: |
Container of Vanilic glue |
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|
Bush basher |
: |
One of two square pockets of
electric-blue Japanese silk |
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|
Comb game player |
: |
Transparent plastic container of VR
200 glue |
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|
Sadistic comb game player |
: |
Jar of curry powder |
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|
Ultimate loser |
: |
Pretty glass jar |
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|
Stephanie from Dallas |
: |
Jar of mild paprika |
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|
Pap smear pusher |
: |
Small, light-blue rubber “bracelet” |
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|
T-shirt terrorist |
: |
White paper bag |
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|
Anti-traveller |
: |
Chunk from the same loaf of white
bread |
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|
Wants to leave country |
: |
Stopper of tricoloured plastic |
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|
Sidewalk psychic |
: |
Small aluminium spoon |
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|
Devoted follower |
: |
Quarter of a pound of butter |
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|
Happy-go-lucky guy |
: |
Glass of wine |
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Two for one special |
: |
Wine stain |
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|
Has change |
: |
Pin |
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Traumatized yacht owner |
: |
Glazed earthenware bowl |
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Cranky cook |
: |
Outline of a plastic bag |
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|
Paranoid paper reader |
: |
Paring knife |
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|
Recluse in bathrobe |
: |
Wooden ruler |
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|
Shut-in girlfriend |
: |
Worm-eaten joined wooden box |
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|
Peeping kid |
: |
Knitting needle |
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|
Coke machine robber |
: |
Small cube-shaped sponge |
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|
Budding capitalist youth |
: |
Ball of scrap wire |
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|
Coke heist accomplice |
: |
White plastic case |
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|
Jilted boyfriend |
: |
Stereotype of a photo-portrait |
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|
Guy who tosses typewriter |
: |
Two candle butts |
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|
Based on authoritative sources |
: |
Metal stencils |
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|
Has faith in groups |
: |
Yellow plastic case |
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|
Street dweller |
: |
Spool of Tubino white thread |
|
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|
“Conspiracy A-Go-Go” author |
: |
Safety pin |
|
|||
|
Nova |
: |
Large screw |
|
|||
|
Hitchhiker awaiting “true call” |
: |
Dark-blue plastic stopper |
|
|||
|
Video interviewer |
: |
Red stapler (Swingline Tot 50) |
|
|||
|
Video cameraman |
: |
Iron rod |
|
|||
|
Sitting at café |
: |
Small plastic pyramids |
|
|||
|
Hit up for cigarettes |
: |
Bent nail |
|
|||
|
Video playing store security |
: |
Coins |
|
|||
|
Shoplifter |
: |
A bottle of Tuborg beer |
|
|||
|
Old anarchist |
: |
Gold-coloured package |
|
|||
|
Anarchist’s daughter |
: |
Lock for my room |
|
|||
|
Burglar |
: |
Alarm clock |
|
|||
|
Get-away accomplice |
: |
Strong black thread |
|
|||
|
Cadillac crook |
: |
Ordinary knife |
|
|||
|
Video backpacker |
: |
Microminiature Norev model |
|
|||
|
Slapping boyfriend |
: |
Green Swingline stapler |
|
|||
|
Choking girlfriend |
: |
Push button for a bell |
|
|||
|
Disgruntled grad student |
: |
Very pretty dark-blue bottle |
|
|||
|
Having a breakthrough day |
: |
Pack of blue toilet paper |
|
|||
|
Teacup sculptor |
: |
Greenish Bakelite ashtray |
|
|||
|
Working on same painting |
: |
Burnt match |
|
|||
|
Card playing waiter |
: |
White shirt button |
|
|||
|
Café card player #1 |
: |
Electric plug |
|
|||
|
Café card player #2 |
: |
Tricoloured plastic stopper |
|
|||
|
Scooby Doo philosopher |
: |
Sample of Olfran aftershave lotion |
|
|||
|
Papa Smurf |
: |
Small dispenser |
|
|||
|
Questions happiness |
: |
Two-pound container |
|
|||
|
Has conquered fear of rejection |
: |
Jar of powdered coffee |
|
|||
|
Smoking writer |
: |
Screw, 2.5cm long |
|
|||
|
S-T-E-V-E with a van |
: |
Peanut presented to me |
|
|||
|
Doorman at club |
: |
Screw |
|
|||
|
Bike rider with nice shoes |
: |
Stopper from Vin des Rochers |
|
|||
|
Cousin from Greece |
: |
White shirt button |
|
|||
|
Sitting on ledge |
: |
White shirt button |
|
|||
|
Handstamping arm licker |
: |
Screw |
|
|||
|
Pixl-Visionary |
: |
Plastic box |
|
|||
|
To be buried by history |
: |
Bottle of Sauzé |
|
|||
|
Masonic malcontent |
: |
Roll of scotch tape |
|
|||
|
Going to catch a show |
: |
Corner of a half-litre container of
milk |
|
|||
|
Band playing at club |
: |
Nail |
|
|||
|
Dairy Queen photographer |
: |
Ordinary cork |
|
|||
|
Anti-artist |
: |
Plastic bottle-stopper |
|
|||
|
Late night pick-up |
: |
Paint brush |
|
|||
|
Watching early morning TV |
: |
Aluminium tube |
|
|||
|
Old man recording thoughts |
: |
A spool that isn’t one |
|
|||
|
Post-modern Paul Rever |
: |
Rusty nail |
|
|||
|
Super 8 cameraman |
: |
Ball-point pen |
|
|||
|
All-night partier |
: |
Small white card |
|
|||
|
Convertible driver |
: |
Paper clip |
|
|||
|
Day tripper |
: |
Bronze token |
|
|||
|
Tosses camera off cliff |
: |
Four-leaf clovers, |
|
|||
|
|
|
cover for the plastic box, |
|
|||
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|
Magic Marker, |
|
|||
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|
tin sauce ladle, |
|
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|
cigarette burn. |
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Andrea Mason is a writer and artist based in London. Her fiction pamphlet Waste Extractions, was published in 2022 with Broken Sleep Books. She is Runner Up in the Desperate Literature Short Fiction Prize, 2023, won the Aleph Writing Prize, 2020, was shortlisted for the Manchester Fiction Prize, 2020, and was shortlisted for the inaugural Fitzcarraldo Editions Novel Prize, 2018. Magazine, journal, online and anthology publications include DUMP Thoughts, issue 1, 22 Fictions (ed. Kate Ellis & Robert Loyko-Greer), Cybernetics, or Ghosts? Stories from Myth to A.I. (ed. Michael Salu), Eleven Stories, UEA New Writing, 3:AM Magazine, Failed States, Tar Press, The Happy Hypocrite and Frozen Tears.